A feast fit for a... starving rabbit.
I recently flew back East to visit family and decided to hook myself up and use a bazillion miles to fly Business Class. Good seats, great service and yummy food, right? Well, they got 2 out of 3. Here’s a little note I penned to the folks over at Delta. It’s not good to make me go hungry…
“Dearest Delta,
I recently flew from LAX to BOS in Business and 1st classes, and while the service was great the VEGETARIAN food options were a JOKE. Shall I describe the utter lameness? Oh, I think I shall. The first leg of my journey from LAX to Atlanta I happily settled in my seat. When the food service came, my brother was presented with a large, satisfying looking turkey sandwich with a chips, fruit and a brownie. What did the geniuses at Delta food services concoct for the Vegetarian meal? A bun. 2 leaves of lettuce. 3 tomato slices. And some raw onion. That’s it. No mayo. No mustard. No substances, because if I need to explain–bun+tomato+lettuce+raw onion DO NOT A SANDWICH MAKE. C’mon now. It ain’t hard to make a veggie sandwich, but this was pathetic and essentially inedible. I didn’t even get the dignity of having the brownie and chips. All I got to eat was a pittance of fruit salad and boatload of pretzels that the flight attendant offered because even she felt sorry for me.
You would think I would have learned my lesson. Like W. Bush once famously said, ‘Fool me once, shame on you. Full me twice–’ Actually, he botched up the quote. Maybe he’s the one making the veggie meals over at Delta. But I digress…
JFK to LAX. Another flight, another veggie meal and another chance for redemption. No dice. My veggie meal comes and what do I get? It appeared to be a salad. A pile of wilted lettuce (it was gross and I have lot’s of pictures to prove it if you too would like to personally view Delta’s Business Class food service at its most awesome bestest), 3 olives, a smaller pile of red peppers, more raw onion (wtf? who’s the raw onion wizard over there?) and a few specks of feta cheese. I look at this abomination of a salad with it’s wilted rotting lettuce and then I look over at my brother happily chowing down on something that looks perfectly appetizing to an omnivore. And I’m bummed– No, I’m pissed. Had I known the food would be such utter crap, I would have brought my own. Instead I sit there hungry and stuff myself with pretzels, again.
So why is Delta a bunch of Veggie haters? We’re cheaper to feed than your other carnivorous patrons that demand the expensive slain flesh of dead animals to gnosh on. You don’t have to kill a single creature to feed us. Roasted vegetables are not hard to make. Boca burgers? Inexpensive, nourishing and simple to prepare. Slip one of those in your now famous raw onion lettuce sandwich and you avoid this diatribe. Don’t serve wilted/rotten lettuce! You’re already serving up a bunch uninspired drivel. Why add insult to injury? Trust me, vegetarians are a growing market and they’re not hard to service. But based on my experience I guess Delta just doesn’t care. I’ll definitely be warning all my veggie friends that, ‘DELTA HATES YOU.’
But then again, on the upside, now I get to blog about it. Yay!”
